Revolution

5th blog for social psy: ratings for video games

2008-04-23T15:08:00.004+08:00

In a few more days, a rating system will be implemented to guide parents on deciding which video games are suitable for their children. Two classifications will be used: Age Advisory (for ages 16 and above) for games with implied sexual activity and moderate violence; & Mature 18 (M18) for older gamers for games that comprise nudity and realistic violence. Games that illustrate rape, glamorised drug use, language offensive to religion, and sadistic violence continue to be banned. Stickers will be pasted on rated games to caution buyers and parents while retailers have to check a buyer’s age before the sale of M18 games. Those who break the rules will be fined up to $40k and/or jailed up to 6 mths. Retailers support this system as they are now clearer on the types of games that can be imported, without fear of being banned after bringing it in.

Even though ratings are now in place, parents should not let down their guard and supervision as game producers offer increasingly mature thrills. Parents usually worry that their children will become addicted to the computer while trying to increase their never-ending game levels. Homework and other activities might be neglected while social skills might weaken. Another major concern is that violence in video games heightens the risk of desensitisation. Tolerance for violence may increase and empathy for others may decrease, although this affects attitudes more than overt behaviours.

In social psychology, aggression is defined as behaviour that aims to hurt someone physically or psychologically. Violence is a form of aggression that causes extreme injury. When engaging in interactive video games, players need to make quick decisions to act aggressively. According to the social learning theory, people learn many types of responses, including aggressive behaviours, based on the observation of how the behaviours are performed and the types of rewards or punishments for such reactions. As such, the contentment of seeing an enemy destroyed might reinforce the use of aggression. Playing such games also seems to elicit aggressive thoughts and emotions, influencing later behaviours. When young boys were assigned to play either an aggressive martial arts game or a nonaggressive and yet similarly arousing racing game, boys who played the martial arts game were more likely to display physical aggression towards toys and greater verbal aggression towards other children compared to those who played the racing game. Other researchers argue that the violence in video games is not very realistic as the characters are animated. Furthermore, such games might provide safe and harmless outlets for aggressive impulses.

Violent pornography refers to sexually explicit material that portrays aggressive and hostile sexual activity. Like violence in video games, evidence is insufficient to conclude whether pornography increases aggression or rape. Researchers believe that people who would be negatively affected by watching violent pornography or engaging in such acts in video games are the ones already predisposed to do so and such games that include rape may not have an effect on most people.

It is in good faith that the government is rating video games so that gamers are only exposed to certain games when they are mature enough and that such acts as drug use, religiously offensive coarse language and sadistic violence are banned to prevent gamers from copying or imitating such behaviours. However, reactance theory postulates that banning or censoring a product may backfire as people crave things that are restricted. Nevertheless, I feel that it is better to be safe than sorry by controlling content in video games that are too extreme so that potential effects on certain people could be reduced as less people would have access to such material. Additionally, more could be done in tandem to prevent aggression by teaching children from young the alternative ways of communication like talking about problems and focus on solving them and to gain empathy by thinking from another’s viewpoint.

Read one of the articles on the rating system for video games: "Ratings for new video games by end April"

4th blog for social psy: Pregnancy - is there equity and fairness?

2008-04-10T23:55:00.011+08:00

A columnist was discussing with his female friend about another mutual friend who was about to deliver her firstborn and whether they themselves would like to have children too. The columnist’s friend became agitated about how women are the ones who have to carry the baby and endure the pain from childbirth. No matter how hard the columnist tried to defend the men, there was no way he could win the argument as men could not give birth and thus could never match the sacrifices women have to make.

The columnist also lamented that while most dutiful husbands would be willing to do things such as giving massages and tag along for clinic appointments to fulfil their fatherly obligations and also to show gratitude to their wives, it was unclear whether women appreciated what their husbands did for them. Many females would expect men to be at their beck and call when they are pregnant and at the same time think of these tasks as “the least he can do”. It was said that women couldn’t really cherish what the men do if they think of these efforts as only minimal. And so the columnist appealed to women to cut men some slack as they are the fathers of their children and not slaves.

Close relationships between couples comprise some amount of interdependence: a sharing of contributions and outcomes. Two people see themselves as a unit, sharing in the costs and rewards of each other’s end results. Sometimes, people act in ways that are favourable to their companions even if they themselves have to pay a price. In the long term, they will reap the gains put into their partners.

Benefits are supplied in 2 ways. In an exchange relationship, partners partake in an equal exchange of favours. In communal relationships, likely to be between romantic partners or family members, benefits are given or taken when needed with no strings attached.

Satisfaction with a relationship may be judged by how fair it is, regardless of its type. Equity theory explains the idea of perceived fairness or balance in interpersonal relationships. An equitable relationship is one where both partners perceive that they are receiving comparatively similar outcomes. Equity is rather special in communal relationships as the benefits each partner contributes may vary widely, depending on each person’s needs and abilities. Inequity correlates with misery and discontentment.

When a woman gets pregnant, she may perceive herself as contributing greatly by providing her body and nourishment to carry the baby for 9 mths and suffer from physical changes and pain. Thus, she might expect hubby to be at her disposal to make up for her costs. From her viewpoint, there is imbalance and hubby needs to put in great efforts to make her happy. Hubby might gladly do what he can to satisfy her needs. However, whatever he does would never be enough. Hubby might start to feel strained as he contributes more and more and feels an imbalance in a different way.

As a female, I feel that being pregnant is a huge sacrifice and found myself agreeing with the other women mentioned by the columnist as I read his article. Of course every woman wants to be pampered! Come to think of it, men contribute in different ways too. If I have a child, I wouldn’t want to feel underbenefited (end results are less than what is deserved) all the time, thinking that my husband owe me something. Life would be happier with an equitable relationship. Remind me to count my blessings and be thankful for my spouse in future!

3rd blog for social psy: short man syndrome isn't just a tall story

2008-04-05T16:38:00.002+08:00

In a study conducted in Netherlands and Spain (read "shorter people more likely to be jealous, says study"), participants rated how jealous they felt and gave the qualities about romantic rivals that make them feel most threatened. Men felt most distressed over attractive, rich and strong competitors while women were concerned about looks and charm. Jealousy was negatively correlated with height in men. For women, jealousy was least extreme when they were of average height, although they could also be more jealous when rivals were taller as taller rivals are seen as more domineering with better fighting capacity. From an evolutionary perspective, taller men have better luck with women while women with average height have optimal health and fertility and are most sought after by men.

In social psychology, research has found that in heterosexual dating, taller males were preferred, although not too tall because males below average or way taller than average were deemed less attractive. Besides romantic dating, taller men also have it better in some other aspects. The trait approach to leadership, known as Great Person theory, postulates that successful leaders are believed to possess exceptional virtues: charismatic; intelligent; and decisive. A myriad of personal qualities that might foretell leadership were measured. Leaders are generally taller than nonleaders. Other than leader emergence, height also predicted leader effectiveness. It could be that tall people appear physically more daunting and thus can influence others more easily. Another possible explanation could be a height stereotype – tall individuals are perceived as more talented or forceful and hence carry more weight in their actions.

Given these advantages that taller individuals might enjoy, it is little wonder why people who are vertically-challenged may feel more jealous. Could this account for the societal pressure that women should be supermodel tall? Girls, might this be why we love those high-heels despite the pain on our feet and the potential health hazards? Shorter men are also more prone to provoke taller men into fights. Is this one of their ways of fighting back? Bullied and laughed at in school, they might learn to be more aggressive in order to save themselves. I wonder if it’s true that when choosing pets, shorter men like to be masters of large, aggressive dogs.

Can mild jealousy act like a motivating feeling? It might not be such a bad thing for the vertically-challenged if they grow to be driven and hardworking in school and at the workplace to prove themselves, and become exceedingly knowledgeable and accomplished. Oh, I ponder…

2nd blog for social psy: cultural differences in perception & the correspondence bias

2008-03-24T22:31:00.000+08:00

Differences in perception between Westerners and Asians occur at remarkably basic levels. Westerners have been conditioned to view themselves as independent individuals while Asians generally focus on interrelationships. For example, Westerners zoom in on central objects in their environment while Asians also take into consideration the circumstance of the object. Brain scanning, where greater areas of the brain linked to attention light up when performing a difficult task, also supports previous research. Americans expended more neural energy when comparing a line’s length relative to a square but found it easier to estimate it by looking at it alone while Asians found it easier to approximate length by comparing it to a square than when the line was presented alone.

These perceptual differences may be a result of cultural differences in accessible schemas (ease with which certain mental representations of objects or categories of events rise to consciousness). Western cultures stress individuality, freedom and independence (individualism) while Eastern cultures emphasize harmony, obedience and interdependence (collectivism). Hence, differing information would be encoded in memory, leading to varying types of chronically accessible schemas where Westerners are more likely to categorize people in terms of personal achievements and Easterners, categorize people based on group memberships.

It has been found that cultural differences (including these differences in perception and chronically accessible schemas) produce a continuum of the correspondence bias. Correspondence bias refers to the propensity to assume that other’s behaviours reflect their personality, attitudes and other internal factors and not situational factors. There is often overreliance on internal factors and underestimation of external factors when giving causal explanations. Correspondence bias has been found by various researchers to be significantly stronger in individualistic cultures as compared to collectivistic cultures. Differences in accessible schemas suggest that people from different cultures may recognise and comprehend the same event or person rather differently.

Cultural differences in perception and correspondence bias can be observed in many instances, Farmer and Kleinman* contrasted the predicaments of AIDS patients in 2 countries. An individualistic culture that recognises personal rights and uniqueness prevails in USA, leading people to think that AIDS sufferers are responsible for their plight. Victims are perceived as innocent (like infants) or guilty (like homosexuals). However, Haitian culture places greater emphasis on social relationships and less on personal onus. Additionally, AIDS sufferers in USA experience a greater degree of social death due to discrimination and fear from others while community members may even look after afflicted Haitians. As can be seen, AIDS sufferers in USA are more prone to be prejudiced against while those in Haiti are usually forgiven.

Though living in Asia, I often tend towards being individualistic. I feel that I should learn to acknowledge other viewpoints by taking into account external influences. As in the case of AIDS sufferers, emphasis on personal variables and responsibility reduces our sensitivity to the needs of patients.

read "Asians and Westerners really see things differently" here

*Farmer, P., & Kleinman, A. (1989). AIDS as human suffering. Daedalus, 118, 135 - 162. (Reprinted in Stephen Graubard, Ed: Living With AIDS, Cambridge: MIT Press, 1990; Reprinted In A. Podolefsky and P. Brown, Eds: Applying Cultural Anthropology. Second Edition, Mayfield Press and also in their Applying Anthropology. Third Edition.)

1st blog for social psychology: changing attitudes towards wildlife conservation

2008-03-18T10:23:00.010+08:00

Tigers, elephants and other protected animals have started to invade Bengkalis communities because their rainforests are destroyed by unlicensed loggers. When Riau’s Balairaja conservation forest was set up in 1986, it comprised 18000 ha. With only 200 ha left by 2006, animals are forced to wander out of their diminishing natural habitats. People, goats and buffaloes have died as a result. Farms are ruined and crops ravaged. Villagers have tried burning tyres in a bid to scare elephants away, along with measures to poison and poach them. Orang utans are illicitly hunted or captured while the already small tiger population continues to dwindle.
Albeit various laws set up in favour of conservation, governmental efforts in their execution have been half-hearted. For example, the 7 rangers trained in protecting Riau’s national park greatly fall short of the requirement of 38 rangers, whereas security processes need to be beefed up to avert wildlife smuggling.
There are 3 components of attitudes: cognitive (one’s belief’s about an event/ thing), affective (how an event/ thing makes one feel), and behavioural (one’s past actions toward an event/ thing). When inconsistencies occur between these components, such as positive feelings mixed with negative beliefs or vice versa, these ambivalent attitudes bring about varying behaviours over time as either the positive or negative elements surface at present, with the overriding element controlling behaviour. Ambivalent attitudes could underlie the apparent indifference of the Indonesian government and public towards wildlife conservation. Villagers might feel angry and frustrated when their settlements are trampled upon by wild animals while their past actions of hunting down wild animals for food and tigers for their coveted body parts have indicated that these animals are a source of nuisance and should be used for make money instead. There may also be conflicting beliefs where logging national parks for wood to make furniture and paper could reap economic benefits, although such actions are inherently harmful to earth and may destroy undiscovered plant species. While villagers and traders may take the cue from the government as laws for conservation are not adamantly enforced, their immediate survival instincts may be stronger than one’s concern towards the environment (negative aspects override the positive ones in attitudes towards conservation).
Besides using the law, various strategies can be employed to reduce the villagers’ and government’s dissonance in attitudes towards wildlife conservation. According to the dissonance theory, identification of illogical and flawed actions arouses people unpleasantly, prompting them to modify dissonant cognitions or add consonant cognitions. The hypocrisy paradigm has been used to test the dissonance theory whereby people were made to publicise a socially desirable behaviour and then made aware that they have been not constantly displaying the behaviour themselves. Results indicate that the feeling of hypocrisy generated by the combination of promoting the behaviour and being reminded of past failures was essential to create dissonance that in turn triggers people to act more in accordance to the promoted behaviour. Similarly, villagers in Riau could be provided with information on the benefits of wildlife conservation and be rewarded for promoting it and then reminded of their behavioural irregularities to promote more conservation in future.
Strength of arguments is an important determinant of acceptance of a message. Strong arguments in favour of conservation that elicit positive thoughts should be pointed out to the villagers while weak arguments should be abandoned. This makes use of the central route to persuasion, where information-processing is rational and based on facts. The peripheral route to persuasion makes use of superficial and noncognitive processing and the use of heuristics has shorter-term effects. This should only be employed as a secondary measure. For example, messages about wildlife conservation should come from credible sources and the presentation of the pros of conservation could be made to seem longer than the cons.
To help protect the wildlife and rainforests in Indonesia, social psychological theories could be applied to study the attitudes of the public and government before implementing strategies to alter their attitudes, rather than just relying on the law or sanctions.

click here to download the original newspaper article "All talk, little action to save endangered wildlife"

Three Words

2007-11-24T19:20:00.000+08:00

241107 sat
just received a newsletter from Happiness in a Nutshell. quite nice. here it is:

Three Words
What is the theme of almost every song ever sung - and almost every movie ever made? LOVE. Lost love, found love, risky love, scorned love. It's endless! We just want love!Almost everything we do is an attempt to get more love. We buy cool clothes and flash cars. We climb the corporate ladder. We do crash diets, get Botox and pierce body parts. Everyone you pass on the street and everyone who has everwalked into your office is aching for love and acceptance - and some of us are doing crazy things to get it. We figure: "If I look sexy, people will love me." "If I am clever, people will love me." "If I am successful and 97% wrinkle free, people will love me." We can get so busy trying to find love that we forget to love the people we care about … Fred says, "I told my wife last month that ! I love her. Doesn't she remember?" She remembers, Fred, but she wants to be told every month. Actually, she wants to be told every day. Children want to hear it. Little Johnny is born. Dad hugs him daily and tells him, "Daddy loves you!" … until he's about six. Then Dad decides, "My son is becoming a man." He stops telling Johnny, "I love you." He stops cuddling Johnny. And Johnny wonders, "Doesn't Dad love me any more?" I've lost count of the number of grown men that have told me at one time or another: "All I wanted my whole life was for my Dad to tell me he was proud of me - that he loved me." It is in times of tragedy that we are reminded about what matters most. That's when people say "If only I had told him …"
IN A NUTSHELL
To say "I love you" costs so little and means so much.
And whenever it is too hard to say, "I love you","thank you" is a good start.

2022. The way to love anything is to realise that it might be lost. - Rachele

hard work guarantees success

2007-10-22T14:22:00.000+08:00

221007 mon
havent come for so long. n nw the exams r finally over!! hoho, really need to give my life a makeover.. if i carry on like this, i can envisage myself as a fat auntie slogging hard to repay debts/provide for the family when im 40 yrs old... heh heh, so i must start exercising and doing more to change my bad habits.
anyway, here's something from emailcashpro. can really learn something from their newsletters:

The world is governed by a set of laws and these laws work with mathematical certainty. Some of the well known laws are the law of gravity and the law of action and reaction. These laws are taught in school because they can be proven by science. Some laws cannot be proven scientifically and thus, they are not in the mainstream of our education. One of these laws is the law of compensation.
The law of compensation simply states that you get compensated for whatever you contribute, nothing is lost and nothing is wasted. If you work hard, you will succeed. That's it. There is no other conditions. There is no BUT..... There is no UNLESS....
Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803 ~ 1882), one of America's most influential philosophers, explains the law of compensation: “The whole of what we know is a system of compensations. Every defect in one manner is made up in another. Every suffering is rewarded; every sacrifice is made up; every debt is paid.”
If you work hard, creative ideas will come to you. If you work hard, you will meet benefactors and other people who can help you to succeed. If you work hard, resources that were not available to you in the past will become available to you now. What other luck do you need?
"But I've worked very hard, why am I not successful yet?"
The law of compensation only warrants you success in the area where you've worked hard, not in the area where you "think" you've worked hard.
For instance, if you have been working hard days and nights to provide for your family and one day your wife leaves you because she says you don't love her, please don't be mad because the law of compensation in this case only compensates you with financial stability, not love. See what I mean?
Another example, you may be working hard to learn how to make money online. If you do just that, you may deserve a degree on how to make money online, but you will NOT make money. You will only make money when you work hard to do things that can generate profits, not learning how to make money.
I hope I've given you enough examples to illustrate the idea.
After today, I hope there is no more excuse for any underachievement in you. Work hard and success will be inevitable. Just make sure you are working hard at the right thing!

1439. 说到不如做到，要做就要做到最好。

Advance in Life

2007-09-13T18:44:00.000+08:00

130907 thurs
just read a story from a self-made multimillionaire, posted on emailcashpro:

A sage challenged his students with a question. The question is "Assuming that you have piece of land full of weed, propose what you would do to get rid of the weed."
One student suggested to pull out the weed by hand. One said use a shovel is faster. Another said why not we just burn the weed.
"The answers are all wrong," said the sage. "The answer is to farm the land."

We all face problems everyday. Problems are just like weed. They will grow regardless of how you remove them. When facing problems, most people will think of ways to solve the problem, just like the sage's students who proposed to use hand, shovel and fire to remove weed. Regardless of what they do, new weed will continue to grow and there is no end to this.
Instead of focusing on how to solve the problem, we should focus on how to ADVANCE from the problem. As what the sage said, the solution to get rid of weed is to farm the land. What he meant was to develop the land. Once the land was developed, weed would no longer be a problem. He didn't solve the problem directly, but the problem would no longer be a problem when he developed the land. In other words, instead of solving the problem, he made good of the entire situation so that he didn't even have to waste time solving the problem, which was just a trivial matter. This is what I mean by ADVANCE from the problem, i.e. making good of the entire situation so that the original problem is no longer a problem.
For example, let's say you are in debts. What most people would do is to think of ways to clear the debts. However, instead of focusing on how to clear your debts, you should focus on how to get rich! Once you become rich, your existing debts will no longer be a problem. You may argue that clearing debts and getting rich are the same. This is not true. The strategies to clear debts are very different from the strategies to get rich. Just like the strategies to make extra $1000 and $100000 are very different. Thinking of strategies to make extra $1000 to clear your debts may solve your current problem. But the same problem will arise again. On the contrary, once you get rich, your existing debts will become trivial.
Ask yourself, how often did you focus on solving your problems. Stop solving problems but advance from the problem. If you take every problem as an opportunity for you to grow or to advance, you will realize that once you advance, you will no longer have to solve the problem.
Look around for the weed in your life now....... How would you get rid of your weed?

1854. Learning is like rowing upstream; not to advance is to drop back. - Chinese proverb

The Truth Speaks For Itself

2007-09-08T13:40:00.000+08:00

080907 sat

wahaha, had been busy e past 3 weeks rushing assignments, but i tot i was quite inefficient... played mahjong on the computer for one whole afternoon last last wk. onli 1 afternoon when i was free n it caused alot of work to accumulate =s

time is really e most impt of all. read the papers abt this boy who got knocked down by a car. in his blog, he commented tt time flies by as the seconds on e clock goes ticking by.... he knew e imptance of time, but who knew he's gone so soon... reading his story oso gave me some inspiration. altho' his parents kept nagging him to study hard, he still continued to go online. only when he's dead did they find out he's got a blog n he posted schedules of his impending o' lvls n even announced time-off from blogging to study. it didn matter wat his parents tot of him, as long as he knew wat he was doing... i used to ask ppl y they dun bother to explain themselves when they're misunderstood. it really puzzled me. until recently i couldnt b bothered to tok back... wat's e pt? when my parents nag, i let em b. e truth speaks for itself. ppl can say all they want; talk is cheap. if u dun believe there's such a thing as gravity so u attempt to jump down from a buildin, u still fall. e truth will happen regardless of wat ppl think.

hmn hmn... heard some sad news abt a fren. she's been gg out w/ this guy 4 abt a yr. n she tot she could tell her mum abt it (her parents r conservative)... in e end, she's nw under hse arrest w/ no outside contact at all. she's got some medical probs too, but i doubt tt's e real reason... so glad to have dear =) it's really time to appreciate wat we have. even if the food is not gd, wat matters is tt we have meals w/ someone we love. when there's nth to do, wat matters is being w/ someone who loves us.

1425. “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” - Chinese Proverb

bad habits

2007-08-21T18:24:00.000+08:00

210807 tues
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit." - Aristotle
one of my assignments in sch is behaviour modification, the aim of which is to apply learning theories to real life and change our life for the better. speaking of change, i guess there's so much to improve on! what do we want to achieve by e end of eweek? or even by e end of the day? if we haven't learnt/achieved something or helped someone/ourselves, den wat is the point of living from ystd till today? ok, mayb too serious. den aim for something for e week. if we improve only 1% a day, by e end of the year we've improved not just 365% but more den 500% (compounded, haha, but i 4got how to calculate, someone teach me?)!
some stuff i'd like to change:

be more independent
not complaining but making the best of what i have (fine me $1 if u catch me complaining)
save time & nt dilly-dally. im always bringing my soft toys ard the hse till its time to go to bed n then the work need nt be done (someone help me on this!)
think more positive thoughts
start reading gd books once a day, even if its 1 pg (ok, this may really have to wait till i finish my assignments =s )
not finding excuses for bad habits/consequences; taking responsibility (sounds like the above?)

no excuses. start now. gd luck to me & all ya out there!

1954. a little goes a long way.

thinking of the future

2007-08-13T22:47:00.000+08:00

130807 mon
wah! just realised i havent blogged for months. how time flies. and how many things have happened. would update more often about what i learn, hehe.. somehow, most ppl around me do not think about their future. i mean DO NOT. weird huh. we might still b young, but some things r scary when you really take a look at it. just do some simple calculations:

let's say i plan to get a normal 4-room hdb. it shld cost ard $300,000 depending on the location. assuming tt i earn $2500 which is not bad alr, n i save a lot, abt $2000 a mth.

$300k/$2k/mth = 12.5 years.

if u think tt u onli need to start planning when u want a hse, do you think u can wait 12 yrs den? n tt's assuming that u save 2k/mth which is a lot. so say i decide to get a loan n interest rate is onli 4% n i intend to pay back in 30 yrs (so long rite? but let's see..)

$300,000 X 4% X 30 years = $360,000

final bill to the bank amts to $660,000!! y would i (or u) want to pay so much more, in fact interest more than the hse, to the bank?! but how many can afford a hse in cash?

now, with tt debt, i have to pay $660k/30 yrs/12 mths = $1833.3/mth

paying $1833/mth of debt for 30 yrs is too much! how to live a gd life like this? if i just shorten the loan: 20 yrs = $2250/mth or 10 yrs = $3500/mth

nw, if my pay is $2500, obviously i can onli choose a 30-yr debt.

$2500 (salary) - $1833 (mortage) = $667

$667 - $300 (utility bills) = $367

$367 - $200 (food & groceries) = $167

nw, with onli $167/mth left, how much of a life can i have? is retirement possible? sure, you can argue that i might have some cash to pay for the hse n so the loan is not so high or the bills r too much. but dun 4get tt most $$ would have been spent on wedding, renovation, furniture n there's oso other expenses like transport (or car), hobbies, vacations n tax. wat abt even a baby?! nt to mention tt the pay must b steady n not drop below $2500.

if we arent worrying nw, the worry would b 10X worse in future. start planning nw, n there'd still b hope.

2348. fear not that life will end; fear instead that life has not started.

Faith

2006-11-01T23:17:00.000+08:00

011106 wed
had eyebags n bad skin le. havent been slping early for quite some time *yawnz* cant believe my sch hols alredi half gone =s havent even start enjoying it. urh, n im like having to plan for next term. yay! at least now i noe wat im in for. heh heh. went spca to volunteer last fri. hehe, not bad. got to see the doggies, cats & bunnies. omg, they're so cute!! didn think cats were so cute too. ooo, so dear, when r u buying me a dog? panda? or red panda? or a tiger? or lion? koala bear oso can =p kangaroos r lovely too *winks*
anyway, here's another story:

praying for rain.
a small village was plagued by drought n this had adversely affected their crop production. hence, a priest gathered all the farmers to hold a mass praying session in the church. along went a little girl. petite as she was, barely anyone noticed her. the priest went on stage n pointed to the girl, saying: "that young girl has made me very touched." he continued: "we have all come here to pray for rain, but only one amongst all of us has brought an umbrella." upon closer scrutiny by the crowd, there was a red umbrella next to the girl's seat. everyone went quiet. suddenly, the church was a beautiful scene of resounding applause and tears.

tt is a simple story n at 1st i didn understand the significance of it. after a while, i realised tt it could b linked to our faith. did the ppl in the story really believed tt god would give em rain? there are times tt we want something n work hard for. things tt we believe in. but do we really believe in it? would we b like most ppl, praying for rain but nv even think to get an umbrella? tada~ i shall end this post w/ a quote.
"Faith is to believe what you do not yet see; the reward for this faith is to see what you believe." - St. Augustine

1226. God's delays are not God's denials.

Inconvenience

2006-10-21T22:22:00.000+08:00

211006 sat
didn tot i'd be away for so long, hehe... anyway, in the midst of exams now. 2 down, 1 more to go. 1 was bad 1 was great =p anyway, dunno y, seem abit excited for the next term, cause i noe i'll do better den this term =p waiting for the timetable, but dun think its gd =s
hmn, there's this story i read some time ago & i want to share it =) here's a story from a woman:

the other day, my hubby was lucky and booked bus tickets to go back to mum's hse. on boarding the bus, we saw a lady sitting at our seats. hubby signalled for me to sit next to her but he himself proceeded to stand. on closer scrutiny, i realised that her right leg was physically hurt and understood hubby's intentions. just like tt, he stood all the way from Jia Yi to Tai Bei, nv asking the lady to return his seat. feeling heart pain for hubby, i told him: "giving up ur seat is a gd thing, but Jia Yi to Tai Bei is very far, why not ask her back for the seat later in the mid-way and have a rest?" he simply replied: "she is disadvantaged for a lifetime, yet we are only inconvenienced for 3 hrs." on hearing this, i was very touched and saw more warmth in the world. when our mentality has changed, the world will have changed. there's a different perspective to eveything and it just depends on which angle we choose to see things. we will not suceed in 3 mins, but it could take just 1 min to make life different.

the above comment made by the guy made me realise tt i couldnt see the misfortune of many ard me. haiz, guess we shld open up our eyes (& heart).
ooo, read something abt the life of anthony robbins. heez, made me think abt doing something for others. actually, lately tot abit. i think tt if i dun do something abt my life now n just live on aimlessly, i'd regret it. i'd regret it in my 30s, in my 40s. i'd regret it if i have a paunch. i'd regret it if i'm struggling w bills. i'd regret it if i made no achievements. yes, i will. so... im gonna do something. but what? i'll just start by making gd use of my time (most at least, gimme time :> ) anyone out there, if there's something i can do for you, let me noe =)
tt's it for 2day, will be back soon :D btw, happy deepavali to all my frens!
2227. have love.

Endless Cycle of Deadlines

2006-09-18T17:12:00.000+08:00

180906 mon
=s did my presentation 2day... missed out a lot of wat i wanna say =( guess need to do more planning next time... gonna get psy test score on thurs n counselling score on fri. cant wait, but oso v scared... wan to do very very well in sch, but im surrounded by many many talents. gd in a sense to take up the challenge, but omg! its really scary tt everyone's so hardworking, smart n sociable. gd thing they're all nice, friendly n helpful :)
life has become an endless cycle of deadlines. u get the next assignment before u even finish one. i wonder if working life is like tt... will i be stuck in this cycle forever if i dun work hard now? realise tt i havent been in contact w many old frens. life would b almost meaningless.
oh man, i need to get a life. need to love the ppl ard me more. gone is the little girl, the naive child. i'll do something abt it. i will.
feeling better? feeling better? smile: im happy. im blessed. i'll succeed. love thy hmwk. i'll go get some.

1737. be strong.

The Breakup

2006-09-15T23:10:00.000+08:00

150906 fri
met up w/ dear ystd on his nite-out =) hadn't much time, just caught the movie w/ e most suitable timing. fortunately. great movie, aint just a comedy. many learning pts from The Breakup

small misunderstandings escalate
miscommunication is the cause of most problems
unhappiness bottled-up willl explode one day
nv wait too long to let ur partner noe how u're feeling, DIPLOMATICALLY
wanting to make another person jealous means u still care, but this almost always have the opposite effect of the intended
as the chinese saying goes, the outsider can see the situation most clearly. true in many cases. however, NOT so in others' r/s. someone not in the r/s will nv get the full picture
adivce could be harmful
nv assume, ask & hear each other out
undertand the diff cultural backgrounds (even family, frens) involved
it's not what you do, it's abt doing something with ur loved ones
someone who doesnt appreciate what u do doesnt mean he doesnt appreciate you/your effort

things do get worse b4 they get better. its whether you could hang on there when it gets tough. im gald i did :) it's really sad... finished, just like tt. it's definitely worth more. if gary had taken action sooner, it would have ended totally differently. brooke loved him deeply too, but her tolerance was stretched to e limit, to e pt of no return. feel so sad... its really a pity to see tt something tt was built with so much time n effort n most imptly love was detroyed cause of lack of understanding. so heart-wrenching. oh well, tt's life. too bad i aint the director of e movie. but, i'm the director of my life.

0017. without you, where do i belong?

Money Matters.

2006-09-02T23:48:00.000+08:00

020906 sat
stepping into e mth of september scares me. cant believe its alr sept! suddenly reminded tt time waits for no man. where did three-quarter of 2006 go to? hopefully by the end of the yr i can say tt i did not let this yr go to waste.
hehe, feel so power, lol... did my counselling paper at e last min (okie, last 15 hrs =p nth to b proud of -_-''') wrote essay for 9 hrs, went to bed at 5am, woke up at 7am, had breakfast, went sch, den continued for another 4 hrs. cant believe i was quite energetic after tt. e power of e mind. ~~drained. emotionally. physically. mentally.~~ need recharge.
have ya heard of such phrases as "money is e root of all evil"? used to see 'em lots everywhere. didn really think abt it, but guess they're sorta drilled into me. now den i noe its wrong to think tt way (heng im still young). money'll magnify what you r now; money onli serves as a means to ur wishes. if one has inclination to b arrogant or covets after fame & power, being rich will make a person tt way. conversely, if one is kind-hearted, being rich puts tt person in a better position to do more good, to donate much much more to charity.

1228. sacrifice enjoyments. enjoy sacrifices.

Art Therapy

2006-08-27T00:21:00.000+08:00

260806 sat
went for a talk abt art therapy. so cool! art is more den just drawing; it includes using clay, music and leaves too. anything creative u can think of. take caution tho', do not give puppets to angry children as they might bang the dolls on the table. or take risk in giving teen gangs pebbles lest they end up throwing it at each other =p wow, every single detail in a drawing by a client contains impt msg, even such things as whether lines are smooth or joined in sharp angles. lightness of strokes might reveal a weak character while drawing below one's age (young child draws onli like a toddler) could mean regression. to prevent overanalysis (or making assumptions w/ just 1 drawing), look out for repeated patterns in different drawings. ooo, art therapy is oso for everyone - those w/ problems or those who think they're happy but wan to noe more abt themselves. so, dear frens, next time u're stressed, u could try taking time out to relax by drawing/painting =)
hee, so glad to have went out. thanks baby -_< for those who havent watched "click!", go watch =p happy birthday to gie gie too.

1238. handsome.

p.s. do you noe tt one year of unhappiness can undo ten years of happiness?

Gimme a Dose of Positivity.

2006-08-19T00:08:00.000+08:00

180806 fri
have been learning abt the importance of positive thinking over the past few mths. but come to think of it, didn really think abt how to think positvely... mind & body are alike. i think we dun have to wonder too much as to whether emotions or actions come 1st: they go 2gether. being in a state of mind affects how we act. likewise, how we act can also affect how we feel/think. if we're unhappy, we can CHOOSE to feel better by forcing ourselves to smile. we can try looking up at the sky the next time we find our heads hanging down.
easier said than down tho'. i find it difficult to cheer myself up (more tips anyone?). need some time to get over it. heez. n mayb sometimes just wanna stay tired n unhappy, after getting there??
had a bit of a shock & trauma (okie, tt's putting it too seriously). nvm, i shan't elaborate. oh, just got a call from my classmate who asked 4 e no. of another fren. i curiously asked y and she said "go clubbing". suddenly had an envious pang. nope, clubbing isnt my kind of thing. just wished tt i had tt kind of freedom to go out whenever & wherever i liked. mayb 'cause they're foreign students so their parents cant check. but i asked. n she said her mum allows her to go out late into e night occassionally. awww.
btw, something interesting i'd learnt in sch - false memories can easily be implanted in ppl.

1238. tiredness is a state of mind.

The 7 Wonders of the World

2006-08-11T23:34:00.000+08:00

110806 fri
went shopping w sis ystd at bugis. bought earrings & a belt, hehe... so long nv shopped le. felt a bit guilty for spending $$ tho'. met up w mum & dad for a la carte dinner. cant believe we spent 2 n a half hrs stuffing oursleves w food, lol...
used 4 hrs 2day after sch w my grp to do a SHORT video taping (gonna b sent to aussie 4 viewing by e uni staff)! n the whole thing is not completed yet =s plus there's a 2nd taping too. double =s
many ppl would have heard of this b4, but it's so true & i hope everyone'd rmb - The 7 Wonders of the World:

to see
to hear
to touch
to taste
to feel
to laugh
to love

the things we overlook as simple & ordinary & tt we take 4 granted r truly wondrous. enjoy~

2351. happy 22 mths.

Maybe a Mistake.

2006-08-10T00:52:00.000+08:00

090806 wed
maybe a mistake. really wanted to go out n enjoy, since its finally a public hols (hols doesnt come easy w/ clashing schedules). oso wanted to do my work too. how to choose, haiz. or mayb... just wanted to b asked out properly, to feel more... wanted, haha...
anyway, slept v late last nite n was v fustrated w some minor stuff, so i woke up v crummy this morn. went thru an antagonistic day, lol... just almost finished my assignment on self-awareness: 16 pages on my handbook abt helping motives, past experiences, my confidence lvl, gender/culture/race identities, fears n anxieties n my values in life!!
ookie, my lesson for 2day is tt i still need to learn to cherish wat i have n to b more understanding towards others :> & not to waste time too =p *yawnz* gd nite, world.
The great aim of education is not knowledge but action - Herbert Spencer

01112. yearning a hug.

1st blog. 1st entry.

2006-08-08T22:39:00.000+08:00

080806 tues
heez. didn ever tot i'd have my own blog. see my frens blogging but still havent really got into doing it. oh well, this is a start i guess. some start, haha. just so i can post comments for fred -_-''' we'll see how it goes, lol.
got lotsa sch work piling up & yup, its overwhelming. onli in the 4th week too! actually have been slping quite late recently (but im proud i forced myself not to b tired in class... but this cant go on 4ever) n wanted to finish an assignment n slp early 2day. geez, could nv work w/ the com in front of me =p failed again. okie, i promise to do full-time mugging tml n thurs. no sch, yay! dun get me wrong, i love my sch. just need the time to catch up =]
kinda wished i arent at home, enjoying the beautiful night scenery 10mins from co. nvm, a brighter future awaits.
learnt loads & loads of stuff lately. hehe, actually can all b summed up in the blogs i read, lol. just pondering - if we didn do something productive or improved ourselves from ystd to today, den wat's the pt of living from ystd to today?

2259. miss you.